Wellsville Central School is off for Tuesday November 1st

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Teachers and and staff are not dealing with a “Halloween hangover” this year

*For entertainment purposes, this is fiction, except the ending

By Andrew Harris

Since the dawn of public education in Wellsville NY, the day after Halloween “trick or treating,” is a day that brings horror to faculty and staff. Children eat so much candy and other assorted junk foods that trying to teach them, or deal with them at all, is a nightmare. This year Wellsville Central Schools have decided to banish children from the school on the day after the annual binge.

One normally enthusiastic teacher recalled on recent post-Halloween incident:

“They are either still so hyper and strung out from the candy gorge, or they are totally exhausted from the shaving cream battles. Two years ago, someone puked up a bunch of half digested tootsie rolls in the hallway. It set of a chain reaction of vomiting that most of us will never forget.”

Students have shown up to school, still covered in shaving cream. Some kids, not ready to give up the ghost, wandered from class to class muttering “trick or treat?”

Part of the reason that the school decided to have a ‘no-kids’ conference day had to be what happened in the wild, pre-pandemic days. This long time elementary school teacher recalls:

“Little Johnny came into the class about as wild-eyed as possible. I asked him to take his seat for the class to start and he only twitched and stared at me. When I walked over to his desk to talk in person, the boy jumped right up into the drop ceiling and got tangled up in wiring. It took the maintenance guys until 8pm that night to free the child and wow was he hungry!”

Since that day, the tootsie roll incident, and several others that are in a top-secret file: Teachers and support staff finally convinced school administrators to close down on the day after trick or treating.

The Superintendent of Schools, David Foster issued this statement today(this is for real):

I am writing to remind you that Tuesday, November 1st is a Superintendent’s Conference Day with no school for students.  Students attending Genesee Valley, Scio, and Elm Street Academy will attend as usual, with bus pickups and drop-offs at their regular times.  Have a great weekend.

Sincerely,

David Foster. Superintendent


On a serious note, enjoy the long holiday weekend.

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