Hornell’s DeKay is a dedicated to supporting women during pregnancy, labor, and beyond
By: Johanna Elattar, pictured at left is Emily with her wife Allison
In Hornell, where the pace is slow but community ties run deep, Emily DeKay is quietly transforming the way local women experience childbirth. At just 28 years old, Emily wears many hats—wife, mother, and trained doula—but it’s her unwavering commitment to supporting women during pregnancy, labor, and postpartum that sets her apart.
Born in nearby Bath, NY, Emily now calls Hornell home, where she lives with her wife, Allison, and their blended family of four children. Three of the children are Emily’s biological kids, while one is Allison’s from a previous relationship. The couple’s love story began not in a dramatic twist of fate, but in the everyday setting of a daycare where they both worked. It was there, in a space devoted to nurturing young lives, that their own connection blossomed—one grounded in mutual care, laughter, and a shared love of children.
Emily’s path to becoming a doula began not in a classroom, but in the delivery room—during the birth of her second child. “That birth changed me,” she says. “I realized how important it is to have someone there just for you—not to make medical decisions, but to support you emotionally, to help you feel seen and heard.” That experience sparked something profound in her: a desire to help other women feel supported, safe, and empowered during one of the most intense moments of their lives.
She went on to train as a doula in Rochester, NY, learning the essential physical, emotional, and informational skills required to guide a mother through pregnancy, birth, and the challenging postpartum period. Since then, she has assisted numerous women through their childbirth journeys, most recently helping deliver a healthy baby boy this past April—a moment she describes as “beautiful, sacred, and humbling.”
But Emily is quick to point out that doulas are not medical professionals. “We’re not doctors or midwives,” she explains. “We’re part of the care team. Our role is to support—not to diagnose or treat, but to listen, to advocate, and to provide comfort.”
Emily’s services include creating personalized birth plans, answering questions about different birth outcomes, providing support for partners, offering education throughout pregnancy, and, perhaps most crucially, supporting new mothers after birth. “Postpartum care is where a lot of women fall through the cracks,” she notes. “Everyone’s so focused on the baby that the mother’s emotional and physical recovery gets overlooked. I’m here to make sure that doesn’t happen.”
Her services are tailored to each individual’s needs. “Every pregnancy is different, every woman is different. Some people need more emotional reassurance, others want help preparing for labor or breastfeeding. My job is to meet them where they are.”
Emily’s passion doesn’t stop with her immediate clients. She’s also vocal about systemic issues in maternal healthcare, especially when it comes to women of color. “Black women in the U.S. are three times more likely to die from childbirth-related causes than white women,” she says, citing a statistic that continues to drive her advocacy. “That’s unacceptable. Doulas can play a key role in helping to change those outcomes, but the system has to change too.”
She also offers her services for free to teenagers—a group she believes is especially vulnerable. “Teen moms are often overwhelmed, judged, and ignored. They need someone in their corner, not just telling them what to do, but listening to them.”
Emily wants to earn her certification as a lactation counselor, a step she sees as essential to expanding the support she can provide. “So many women struggle with breastfeeding, and they feel ashamed when it doesn’t go perfectly. I want to be able to guide them through that, whether it means helping them troubleshoot or just letting them know it’s okay to choose another path.”
Despite her professional training, Emily often encounters misconceptions about doulas. “People think we’re just hippie birth coaches, or that we don’t know what we’re doing because we’re not doctors,” she says with a shrug. “But doulas are trained. We study birth, we learn comfort techniques, we understand the emotional toll of pregnancy and labor. We’re not delivering the baby—we’re supporting the person who is.”
That support doesn’t come with a hefty price tag, either. Emily charges around $1,000 per case, a figure that reflects both her accessibility and her belief that this kind of support should not be a luxury. “Birth support shouldn’t be reserved for people with money. Every woman deserves someone who will stand by her side without judgment.”
Her advice to pregnant women is simple but crucial: “Not every doula is right for every person. You have to find someone you’re comfortable with—someone who hears you, respects you, and makes you feel safe.”
In a world where pregnancy and birth can often feel clinical, rushed, or impersonal, Emily DeKay offers a different approach: one rooted in empathy, knowledge, and presence. She’s not just helping women give birth—she’s helping them feel their strength, find their voices, and enter motherhood with confidence.
For more information about Emily’s work or to inquire about her services, visit https://nikdekay.wixsite.com/birth-roots or email her directly at birthrootsdekay@gmail.com.
