Valentine’s Day: From Ancient Sacrifices to Swiping for Love

From Ancient Rome to Tinder, a history of cupid’s arrow

By: Johanna Elattar

Ah, Valentine’s Day—the one day a year when couples get to flaunt their love, singles get unsolicited “You’ll find someone soon!” comments, and florists make more money than an entire season of The Bachelor. Whether you’re planning a romantic evening, stress-ordering a bouquet at the last minute, or strategically avoiding restaurants packed with PDA-loving couples, February 14th is impossible to ignore.

But how did we get here? How did a day that once involved blood sacrifices and questionable matchmaking evolve into an overpriced Hallmark holiday featuring mass-produced teddy bears? Buckle up, because this ride through Valentine’s Day history is wilder than a bad Tinder date.

Ancient Rome: Love, Lottery, and Goat Whipping (Yes, Really)

Before modern dating apps introduced us to the joys of being ghosted, left on read, or hit with a “U up?” text at 2 AM, the Romans had Lupercalia—a festival so bizarre it makes reality TV look normal.

Every February 15th, the Romans would sacrifice goats and dogs (RIP, Fido), smear blood on their foreheads (because, romance?), and then lightly whip women with strips of animal hide to boost fertility. And the best part? Women actually lined up for this like it was the Pumpkin Spice Latte of ancient times.

If that wasn’t weird enough, there was also a love lottery. Men would pull women’s names from a jar, and boom—they were paired up for the festival, and sometimes even marriage. Imagine if Hinge just assigned you a date at random. Honestly, considering modern dating trends, that might actually be an improvement.

The Saint Who Got Canceled for Love

Lupercalia eventually became too much for the Church (probably after someone finally said, “Guys, maybe we stop hitting women with goat guts?”). So, in 496 AD, Pope Gelasius I replaced it with St. Valentine’s Day.

Now, which Valentine was it named after? Nobody actually knows, because there were multiple Saint Valentines, and they all had unfortunate endings. The most famous story is about a priest named Valentine who secretly performed weddings after Emperor Claudius II banned marriage (because he thought single men made better soldiers—clearly, he never met a guy who sends 47 texts before a first date).

When the Emperor found out, Valentine was arrested and sentenced to death. But before his execution, he allegedly fell in love with the jailer’s blind daughter, miraculously restored her sight, and sent her a letter signed “From your Valentine.” And just like that, he unintentionally started the world’s most overused Valentine’s Day card phrase.

Medieval Love Letters: The Original Text Messages

For a while, Valentine’s Day wasn’t associated with romance, but then along came Geoffrey Chaucer, the guy responsible for making it a love-filled occasion. In his poem Parlement of Foules, he claimed that birds chose their mates on February 14th. Suddenly, medieval lovers were like, “Oh, I guess this is a thing now,” and started writing love letters—basically, the original text messages, but with way better spelling.

One of the oldest recorded Valentine’s messages comes from Charles, Duke of Orleans, who wrote a love poem to his wife while he was imprisoned in the Tower of London. That’s right—this man was locked up, and he still managed to be more romantic than the guy who texts “wyd?” at midnight.

The Rise of Commercialized Love (a.k.a. Your Wallet’s Worst Nightmare)

By the 1800s, people realized that love letters were great and all, but why write your own words when you can pay someone else to do it? Enter Esther Howland, who basically invented mass-produced Valentine’s Day cards in the U.S. in the 1840s. Soon, everyone was buying pre-written love notes, which saved a lot of people from embarrassing poetry attempts (looking at you, guys who think “Roses are red” is original).

By the 20th century, Hallmark, chocolate companies, and florists turned Valentine’s Day into a billion-dollar industry. Now, if you don’t drop at least $50 on dinner, a gift, and an Instagram-worthy gesture, are you even in love?

Modern Dating: Would the Romans Have Used Tinder?

Fast forward to today, and Valentine’s Day is equal parts romance and stress. Some couples go all out, others pretend it doesn’t exist to avoid an argument, and single people either embrace self-love or spiral into a dating app doom-scroll. Let’s not forget the absurdity of modern romance:

• The “Happy Valentine’s Day” Text at 11:59 PM:Ahyes, the bare minimum. Someone somewhere is sending this exact message to three different people right now.
• Dating App Roulette: You matched! They messaged! They disappeared into the abyss of online dating, never to be seen again.
• Instagram “Soft Launches” of Relationships: Because nothing says commitment like a blurry photo of someone’s hand across a dinner table.
• Galentine’s Day & Self-Love Posts: A day for single people to remind themselves (and their followers) that they are strong, independent, and don’t need a Valentine—right before crying into a box of chocolates.

Love, in All Its Forms

Despite its over-the-top commercialization and the pressures of modern romance, Valentine’s Day still holds onto its original meaning—celebrating love in all its messy, ridiculous, and sometimes beautiful forms. Whether you’re cuddling up with your soulmate, treating yourself to an expensive dessert, or dodging calls from an ex who suddenly “misses you,” just remember: love has always been weird, and that’s what makes it fun.

Now, if you’ll excuse me, I have some last-minute chocolates to buy (for myself).