“February 14th was my older sister’s birthday. She would be 83 this year”
A COLUMN by Kathryn Ross
Hearts and roses, candy and cards, I am not a big fan of Valentine’s Day. Oh, I don’t think of St. Valentine’s Day as a made-up, Hallmark holiday or an attempt by women to cash in.
My dislike of Valentine’s Day is not for the reason you might think. February 14th was my older sister’s birthday. She would be 83 this year if she hadn’t succumbed to breast cancer and or COVID in December 2019. We never had a clear-cut diagnosis and COVID hadn’t really been recognized yet. I think that in her weakened condition she was impacted by COVID. We had been shopping earlier in the month in Rochester. At least if she did have COVID, she didn’t suffer as long as did many others.
Eight years younger. I was always the baby of the family, the twinkle and joy of my grandparents’ and aunt’s and uncle’s eyes. I was actually the youngest of my generation of cousins and grandchildren.
So, why do I dislike St. Valentine’s Day? My nose was bent. The whole world celebrated my sister’s birthday. She received candy and cards, gifts and had birthday parties decorated with hearts and cupids. Not only from her friends and boyfriends did she receive presents, but also from our parents. Her’s was a fun birthday. July 25th didn’t hold a candle to it.
Frankly, I was jealous. St. Valentine’s Day had a completely different meaning for me than for most other girls. Oh, I got St. Valentine’s Day cards from school. I recall sorting through the mailboxes we decorated in class and looking at all the corny sentiments with likenesses of Goofy and Donald Duck. There would be 32 to 36 tiny little Valentine’s. We had big classes when I was in elementary school. It was a baby boomer sort of thing. Our classes, from Mrs. Graves to Mrs. Brewster would always have class parties for St. Valentine’s Day. There’d be cookies shaped like hearts and cupids decorated with red frosting and Green Spot to drink.
I could never understand why it was called Green Spot since it was an orange drink. I still wonder why? Maybe it was because the bottles had a green lid. I don’t know and I doubt if it is still around to find out why it was called Green Spot.
Unlike my sister or other girls, there were no big, red, frilly hearts full of candy, no cute stuffed animals or vases full of flowers for me. That didn’t happen until I was much older and working as a reporter. One of my bosses celebrated his St. Valentine’s Day birthday by buying all the women in the office a single, long-stemmed rose. It was a great gesture, and it always meant a lot to me. It is one of those cherished memories.
Long after our parents were both gone, I tried to make up for my childlike jealousy by making sure, my sister got her favorite cake for her birthday – Angel Food with drip frosting with little red cinnamon hearts on it. That was a great feat for me. I’m not a natural cook, let alone baker. I stumbled through though. It’s a good thing that Angel Food cake comes in a box and is a pretty easy kind of cake to make.
I also took advantage of the Hornell Barber Shoppers. Each year a quartet took reservations to visit homes, nursing homes, offices and businesses and hospitals to sing love songs to the loved ones of the people who hired them. I arranged for them to visit my sister’s house one year on St. Valentine’s Day to sing Elvis’ “Love Me Tender” one of my sister’s and one of my favorite songs. When I was little, my sister and I shared a bedroom. The year “Love Me Tender” came out, Pat would play it on her record player, and I would fall asleep to Elvis’s voice.
So. my grinchy little heart wasn’t always in the wrong place when it came to St. Valentine’s Day. Today I look back on those St. Valentine’s birthdays and regret that I no longer have a reason to be jealous. I miss my sister and always, will, that is a given. Just because people pass away, they never really leave you. After all your sisters and brothers are the only ones who know you from cradle to grave.”
So even now, I wish my sister happy birthday on St. Valentine’s Day.
Kathryn Ross is a writer, reporter, and columnist from Wellsville NY. She is a contributor to many local media outlets and can be reached anytime via email, kathr_2002@yahoo.com
